Jealous

Sabi nila, kapag daw madalas na basa ng pawis ung ilong mo, seloso/selosa ka raw. Hidni ako naniniwala dito. Bakit? Kasi lahat naman ng normal na tao may pores sa ilong. Malamang pagpapawisan iyon. Iyan lagi ang iniisip ko kapag pinupuna nila yung basa ng ilong ko. Kasi base sa experience ko na kahit na pawisin yung ilong ko, hindi ko masasabing ako yung jealous type.

But earlier, I felt it. REALLY felt it. Before, when I see the two of them talking and interacting, I usually brush it off like it's nothing. But today it was different. I felt that longing to be talked to the way you talk to her. Because you do not talk to me that way. I feel like I'm not the person you are closer to. And I admit it hurts. It really does. It's like the feeling of being ignored and-- worse-- of being rejected even if there was no direct ignorance and rejection being made.

But then I realized that jealousy is not a foreign emotion. We all get jealous sometimes. It's because you care and love that person that fear gets associated with that love. You fear that one day you'll never be the person   he/she wants to talk to. You fear that once they find that other person who could probably replace you and could probably be better than you, they'll leave you. In the end, it's all about your fears and your insecurities. So that's why I do not want to let this affect me much. I trust in my relationship with her. She's my friend. Whatever happens, even if I get insanely jealous, I want her to know that I'll always be here even if I'm not the person she always wants to talk to with her troubles and her joys, for that matter. I want her to know that I'll still listen and just be here... waiting.