:)

How foolish it is to think that we love only with our hearts. The heart is just an organ with a job to do, a quota to fill. When I love, I don't want to love with a blood-pumping machine. I want to love with every inch of my body.

I will love you with my knees and my fingertips, with my elbows and my collarbones. With my eyes and my knuckles, my wrinkles and my scars.

And I will love you with the space in between.

“There are two types of waiting. There’s the the waiting you do for something you know is coming, sooner or later—like waiting for the 6:28 train, or the school bus, or a party where a certain handsome boy might be. And then there’s the waiting for something you don’t know is coming. You don’t even know what it is exactly, but you’re hoping for it. You’re imagining it and living your life for it. That’s the kind of waiting that makes a fist in your heart.”

wordsthat-speak, Tumblr>

Fun Learning

My title looks like some kind of promotional paraphernalia for school advertising.

The first sentence looks redundant because of the words "paraphernalia" and "advertising." Whatever.

Anyway, I just want to give notice to my laziness in studying. When I was in high school, learning seems to be fun. Now it feels so frustrating. I am not gonna elaborate on this but I think that the main reason why I am in such a mood is because of the environment. Mainly, the competition in the room. Again, no elaboration on my part. There are just things that are hard to explain and hard to comprehend. This is one of them.

I just wonder why everything used to go my way and now it feels like things are starting to fall apart for me.

Jealous

Sabi nila, kapag daw madalas na basa ng pawis ung ilong mo, seloso/selosa ka raw. Hidni ako naniniwala dito. Bakit? Kasi lahat naman ng normal na tao may pores sa ilong. Malamang pagpapawisan iyon. Iyan lagi ang iniisip ko kapag pinupuna nila yung basa ng ilong ko. Kasi base sa experience ko na kahit na pawisin yung ilong ko, hindi ko masasabing ako yung jealous type.

But earlier, I felt it. REALLY felt it. Before, when I see the two of them talking and interacting, I usually brush it off like it's nothing. But today it was different. I felt that longing to be talked to the way you talk to her. Because you do not talk to me that way. I feel like I'm not the person you are closer to. And I admit it hurts. It really does. It's like the feeling of being ignored and-- worse-- of being rejected even if there was no direct ignorance and rejection being made.

But then I realized that jealousy is not a foreign emotion. We all get jealous sometimes. It's because you care and love that person that fear gets associated with that love. You fear that one day you'll never be the person   he/she wants to talk to. You fear that once they find that other person who could probably replace you and could probably be better than you, they'll leave you. In the end, it's all about your fears and your insecurities. So that's why I do not want to let this affect me much. I trust in my relationship with her. She's my friend. Whatever happens, even if I get insanely jealous, I want her to know that I'll always be here even if I'm not the person she always wants to talk to with her troubles and her joys, for that matter. I want her to know that I'll still listen and just be here... waiting. 

Someone's starting to get on my nerves. She's such a brat and a know-it-all. She doesn't even have an ounce of respect for me. She orders me around like I'm functioned to do all her bidding. She ridicules me most of the time. And I can't tell her to fuck off because I love her and I do not want to hurt her feelings.

She's such a bitch and she's my sister.

Dress

I am sticking to my word yesterday that I will keep this up. But it seems like I have nothing to say for today. Nothing much happened at school since both of our professors did not attend class. As usual we went to SM but we did not do anything... much. Maybe just waste money.

I wore a dress at school today. People were amazed. Haha. No. They were awfully surprised. They never thought I would wear one. They teased me about my arms. It made me a little insecure but they don't have to know about that. Let's just continue with the facade that I am confident and unfazed.

Total Quality Management

Before I start with this blog post, let me just say that I feel the same things Nica is feeling. Read those here.

What am I going to write, anyway? I don't know how to start, actually. All I know is I want to write how my day went and I want to do it everyday. Or at least write about my days when there are eventful happenings in my life. Like today, for example.

As you all know (or maybe not know... or care), today is my first day of summer classes for my second year in college. Everything was pretty fine, I guess. I was early and sweaty coming to school since I went there in the afternoon. Traffic was expected. Good thing I'm already used to it. If I wasn't, then maybe I will reach school in an unpleasant mood.

We only have one subject for today. It's a 4.5-hour class. I was actually expecting it to be boring but luckily, it was not. Our professor, Sir J, was humorous and witty and smart, I got hooked to the class. Three hours has passed and I didn't even notice. The class was actually having so much fun!

What I like most about our professor was that he is a book-lover... LIKE ME! He asked the class who are into reading for leisure and said that his office is open if we ever decided to borrow a book from him. IF WE EVER DECIDED TO BORROW A BOOK FROM HIM! So that means I can borrow just about anything I like. But of course, I'll return it. And take care of it. I live by the motto, "Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you." It those were my books, I wouldn't want anyone borrowing and returning them in a not-so-good condition. Hell, I wouldn't want anyone borrowing them. Period. Especially strangers... It was very kind of him to entrust us with the responsibility of taking care of his book... if we ever decided to borrow one.

Sir J is the first professor whom I liked from the very beginning. He's a very laid back guy and perceptive, I guess, based on the activities he made us do earlier. I actually mentioned to Mika that Sir J is like the guy-version of myself. He took up Accountancy because when he was making a decision for a college program, Accountancy seemed to be a logical choice. But after graduating and not passing the board exam, he took up another program. I wonder if this will happen to me too...

It was also nice seeing my friends again after almost three weeks of summer vacation. I miss their loudness and... that's it. Haha. But I miss laughing with them more.

I'll try writing again tomorrow. In the meantime...

I just realized a few things while browsing through Facebook. It's just... it's been two years since I graduated high school and still, I can't shake off the feeling of nostalgia everytime I think about our moments. But I guess that's just it. Those are only moments now. Memories.

And then there's the feeling that we were all once friends but now ended up as acquaintances. Or even strangers. Somehow I think it's even my fault for not staying in touch. And how could I after what happened at the last days of our high school life? It was actually not my burden to bear. There was no offense sent directly to me but I felt like I was obliged to hate them, too. But after the storm, all I could think of were the happy memories and not the bad ones. If you would even weigh them, there really are lots of happy moments. And these people, they were the ones I was with.

It just saddens me that we have come to this point. Not that I regret anything my friends and I did. I love them and all my support goes to them first. I guess I just can't stop thinking of them, my classmates. And how I miss them. And how I hope I see them again and make new memories with them. I hope one day everyone can get past the grudges and... I don't know. See what happens, I guess.

Date A Girl Who Writes

NOTE: I saw this post on Tumblr (credits to byleister). And I wanted to have it here on my blog because... JUST BECAUSE. READ IT. 

Date a girl who writes.

Date a girl who may never wear completely clean clothes, because of coffee stains and ink spills. She’ll have many problems with her closet space, and her laptop is never boring because there are so many words, so many worlds that she’s cluttered amidst the space. Tabs open filled with obscure and popular music.

Interesting factoids about Catherine the Great, and the immortality of jellyfish. Laugh it off when she tells you that she forgot to clean her room, that her clothes are lost among the binders so it’ll take her longer to get ready, that her shoes hidden under the mountain of broken Bic pens and the refurbished laptop that she’s saved for ever since she was twelve.

Kiss her under the lamppost, when it’s raining. Tell her your definition of love.

Find a girl who writes. You’ll know that she has a sense of humor, a sense of empathy and kindness, and that she will dream up worlds, universes for you. She’s the one with the faintest of shadows underneath her eyelids, the one who smells of coffee and Coca-cola and jasmine green tea. You see that girl hunched over a notebook. That’s the writer. With her fingers occasionally smudged with charcoal, with ink that will travel onto your hands when you interlock your fingers with her’s. She will never stop, churning out adventures, of traitors and heroes. Darkness and light. Fear and love. That’s the writer. She can never resist filling a blank page with words, whatever the color of the page is.

She’s the girl reading while waiting for her coffee and tea. She’s the quiet girl with her music turned up loud (or impossibly quiet), separating the two of you by an ocean of crescendos and decrescendos as she’s thinking of the perfect words. If you take a peek at her cup, the tea or coffee’s already cold. She’s already forgotten it.

Use a pick-up line with her if she doesn’t look to busy.

If she raises her head, offer to buy her another cup of coffee. Or of tea. She’ll repay you with stories. If she closes her laptop, give her your critique of Tolstoy, and your best theories of Hannibal and the Crossing. Tell her your characters, your dreams, and ask if she gotten through her first novel.

It is hard to date a girl who writes. But be patient with her. Give her books for her birthday, pretty notebooks for Christmas and for anniversaries, moleskins and bookmarks and many, many books. Give her the gift of words, for writers are talkative people, and they are verbose in their thanks. Let her know that you’re behind her every step of the way, for the lines between fiction and reality are fluid.

She’ll give you a chance.

Don’t lie to her. She’ll understand the syntax behind your words. She’ll be disappointed by your lies, but a girl who writes will understand. She’ll understand that sometimes even the greatest heroes fail, and that happy endings take time, both in fiction and reality. She’s realistic. A girl who writes isn’t impatient; she will understand your flaws. She will cherish them, because a girl who writes will understand plot. She’ll understand that endings happen for better or for worst.

A girl who writes will not expect perfection from you. Her narratives are rich, her characters are multifaceted because of interesting flaws. She’ll understand that a good book does not have perfect characters; villains and tragic flaws are the salt of books. She’ll understand trouble, because it spices up her story. No author wants an invincible hero; the girl who writes will understand that you are only human.

Be her compatriot, be her darling, her love, her dream, her world.

If you find a girl who writes, keep her close. If you find her at two AM, typing furiously, the neon gaze of the light illuminating her furrowed forehead, place a blanket gently on her so that she does not catch a chill. Make her a pot of tea, and sit with her. You may lose her to her world for a few moments, but she will come back to you, brimming with treasure. You will believe in her every single time, the two of you illuminated only by the computer screen, but invincible in the darkness.

She is your Shahrazad. When you are afraid of the dark, she will guide you, her words turning into lanterns, turning into lights and stars and candles that will guide you through your darkest times. She’ll be the one to save you.

She’ll whisk you away on a hot air balloon, and you will be smitten with her. She’s mischievous, frisky, yet she’s quiet and when she has to kill off a lovely character, when she cries, hold her and tell her that it will be alright.

You will propose to her. Maybe on a boat in the ocean, maybe in a little cottage in the Appalachian Mountains. Maybe in New York City. Maybe Chicago. Baltimore. Maybe outside her publisher’s office. Because she’s radiant, wherever she goes. Maybe even outside of a cinema where the two of you kiss in the rain. She’ll say that it is overused and clichéd, but the glint in her eyes will tell you that she appreciates it all the same.

You will smile hard as she talks a mile a second, and your heart will skip a beat when she holds your hand and she will write stories of your lives together. She’ll hold you close and whisper secrets into your ears. She’s lovely, remember that. She’s self made and she’s brilliant. Her names for the children might be terrible, but you’ll be okay with that. A girl who writes will tell your children fantastical stories.

Because that is the best part about a girl who writes. She has imagination and she has courage, and it will be enough. She’ll save you in the oceans of her dreams, and she’ll be your catharsis and your 11:11. She’ll be your firebird and she’ll be your knight, and she’ll become your world, in the curve of her smile, in the hazel of her eye the half-dimple on her face, the words that are pouring out of her, a torrent, a wave, a crescendo - so many sensations that you will be left breathless by a girl who writes.

Maybe she’s not the best at grammar, but that is okay.

Date a girl who writes because you deserve it. She’s witty, she’s empathetic, enigmatic at times and she’s lovely. She’s got the most colorful life. She may be living in NYC or she may be living in a small cottage. Date a girl who writes because a girl who writes reads.

A girl who writes will understand reality. She’ll be infuriating at times, and maybe sometimes you will hate her. Sometimes she will hate you too. But a girl who writes understands human nature, and she will understand that you are weak. She will not leave on the Midnight Train the first moment that things go sour. She will understand that real life isn’t like a story, because while she works in stories, she lives in reality.

Date a girl who writes.

Because there is nothing better than a girl who writes.

Hopeless Romantic

- Alex by Lauren Oliver



Bakit wala nang ganito? I want this... SOMEDAY. Balang araw may magsusulat din ng ganito para sa 'kin. Pero grabe, ang hopeless romantic ko talaga. Still, proud ako. Bakit buh? Hahaha. 

Drama Much

Sometimes—okay MOST OF THE TIME—I look at my classmates and wonder why I am not like them when it comes to studying. While they are busy answering our lessons in advance, I am usually surfing the net or reading a good book. While they are preparing for quizzes, I am dancing around in my room pretending I’m a superstar in concert.

And then when I look at my grades at the end of a semester, I get disappointed. I always mutter, “I should’ve been like THEM.” But I’m not. I never will be. Then I tell myself to study harder. But I don’t.

I just don’t. Because I’m not like them and I will never be. 

Awww... Ang tagal ko nang hindi nagsusulat ng blog. Sa sobrang daming nangyayari sa buhay ko, nakakalungkot dahil hindi ko na naisusulat yung mga moment na iyon. Ang effective kaya ng blog. Kapag binabalikan ko 'yung mga dati kong entry, naiisip ko lahat ng kalokohan ko. Ungh! Makapag-blog na nga uli! Stress reliever. Kahit na walang nagbabasa... Yun talaga 'yun eh!

Direk

I enjoy the role of being a director...

Noong high school ako, pagiging isang direk ang naging titulo ko. Lalo na noong latter part ng high school life ko. Hindi ko pinursue ang hilig ko sa directing. Bagkus, nag-Accounting ako. Pero ang blog na ito ay hindi tungkol sa mga pangarap ko. Ito ay tungkol sa mismong pagdidirek ko ngayong college.

Ngayong college, na-assign akong magdirek ng play namin para sa Humanities. Noong tinuro ako ng mga classmates ko, syempre parang gusto ko tsaka ayaw ko rin. Kahit sino naman magkakaroon ng apprehension. Una kasi, hindi ko sila gamay Hindi ko pa alam kung paano ko iha-handle ang bawat isa sa kanila. Pangalawa, parang ayoko na talagang balikan yung mga directing days ko lalo na kung hindi ko kasama sina Pearl, Pauline at Jane. Pero what the hell, no choice na ko.

Ayon, nung mga unang araw, petiks lang, tapos medyo light pa yung approach ko sa pagdi-direct. I was still feeling my way around them. Tapos ayon, dumaan na ang mga araw at lumalapit na rin yung araw ng performance. Ako, naii-stress na kasi hindi pa kumpleto yung script, hindi pa makausad sa play, maraming ibang requirements... ayon. Mas malala pa noong araw na palapit na yung pasahan ng seatwork sa Acco, halos wala nang nakikinig sa akin. Yung tipong sumigsigaw na ako, wala pa ring nakikinig. They're just hearing what I'm saying but not listening. Well, meron naman pero syempre diba, kung konti lang yun, paano talaga ako pakikinggan. Kinukwestyon ko tuloy yung authority ko sa play na 'to.

Alam ko namang parang kwela yung dating ko sa klase. Halos lahat ng mga kaklase ko, nakakabiruan ko. Pero dahil ba sa sobrang kwela ko, pati yung paraan ng padidirek ko, kwela pa rin? Di ba pwedeng seryosohin muna ako kahit saglit lang?

Di ko tuloy mapigilang mag-compare sa mga classmate ko noong high school at mga classmate ko ngayon kahit na ayoko talagang mag-compare. Siguro kasi noong high school, hindi ko kailangang ulit-ulitin bawat details ng actions na gagawin nila. Kasi isang sabi ko lang, go na agad. Ngayon kasi feeling ko sira na akong plaka kapapaulit-ulit ng instructions, ng pagsaway, ng pagsitsit... nakakapagod lang.

Pero syempre, kahit nakakapagod, tuloy lang ang laban. May perks pa rin naman ang pagiging director. Madalas man akong ma-high blood ngayon, nagkaroon ako ng chance na makapag-interact sa mga classmates ko. Nagawa kong makilala sila ng mas mabuti. Kaya kahit maging isang malaking success, isang malaking epic failure, o keribambini lang ang play na 'to, ayos lang. Kasi may ibang bagay akong nakuha mula sa experience na 'to...

33rd MIBF

Kay Mari ko lang talaga ikukwento 'to pero sige na, sa inyo na rin. Pero para kay Mari talaga 'to. Haha.

So, 3rd year ko nang pumunta sa Manila International Book Fair...

Okay lang, ganoon pa rin, walang pinagbago. Maraming tao, maraming libro, mahaba pila, nakaka-claustrophobic. Pero kahit ilang taon na kong napunta sa masikip at nakaka-suffocate na BF, hindi ko pa rin ito tinatantanan. Ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi ako madala.

Madami akong gustong bilihin, syempre pero dahil kapos ang budget ko on such short notice, tatlo lang (sadly) ang binili ko. 

Paper Towns by John Green

An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

Something About You by Julie James

Binili ko yung unang dalawa kasi-- well Si JOHN GREEN 'yan eh. Gusto ko nga ring bilihin yung Looking for Alaska kaso nga lang nabasa ko na siya kaya napagpasyahan kong ipagpaliban ko muna. Gusto ko ring bilhin yung The Fault In Our Stars kaso lang hard bound pa siya. Mas gusto ko kasi talaga ang paper back kasi mas nadadalian akong magbasa sa paperback. Tsaka kung ano mang verdict sa dalawang librong ito, I'll let you know kapag nabasa ko na. Mehehehe...

Yung Something About You, nabasa ko na siya dati at grabe, gustong gusto ko talaga yung story nito. Feeling ko destiny talaga na makita ko 'to sa Fully Booked kasi yung mga books ni Julie James, hinanap ko dati, wala sa Philippine market. Tapos biglang, VIOLA! May Something About You! Haha. Ayon, kaya binili ko na kahit na nabasa ko na.

Gusto ko ring bumili ng Divergent at Insurgent pero saka na kapag lumabas na yung 3rd book at may set na siya. MWAHAHAHAHA!

Ang tagal kong inikot yung shelves para sa The Princess Bride kaso wala akong makita kaya sa NBS sa Southmall na lang ako bibili. Basta, ang dami ko pang gustong bilihin kaso parang nanghihinayang na ako sa iba. Madami pa akong naka-line up na nabili ko sa Book Sale nitong nakaraan linggo. Look: 

Pero sa pito, nabasa ko na yung The Five People You Meet in Heaven tsaka Love, Rosie. Dati pa. Kaya ko binili kasi dapat hindi natin pinapalampas ang mga librong nasa Book Sale dahil kapag binalikan mo pa yan kinabukasan, wala na 'yan diyan. 

Ayon, bumalik tayo sa BF. Alam niyo ba kung anong pinaka-ayaw ko sa BF? Kahit saan ako lumingon, panay Fifty Shades of Grey. At walangjo! Ang daming nabili. Sheeeeet! Pure TORTURE! (no pun intended.) Alam niyo naman kung anong pakiramdam ko sa Fifty Shades diba? At eto pa, MERONG FIFTY SHADES OF MR. DARCY. What. The. Hell. Sinisira niyo ang reputasyon ng P&P. Ang reputasyon ni Mr. Darcy, ni Elizabeth. Ugh. I know, I know. Hindi ko pa alam kung anong story ng fifty shades of mr. darcy but come on! Panigurado naghuhuramentado na si Jane Austen sa hukay niya sa mga pinaggagagawa niyo sa masterpiece niya. 

Ano pa ba? Ayon, nandon nanaman si Pol Medina (Pugad Baboy) katulad last year. Tapos may foreign authors pero di ko sila kilala. Haha. 

Ayon, next year uli. Sana makasama kita, Mari. ;D

Fifty Shades of No, No, No!

This week, I started reading the first of the Fifty Shades Trilogy.

And I must say... NO!

Honestly, I just read half of the first book and I decided to put it down. I don't know... maybe because it's just not the book for me. Maybe because it doesn't tug at my heartstrings. Maybe because, blah, blah, blah. It's like Twilight all over again. (I did love the Twilight series but then I grew older and read better books). 

They say Fifty Shades is a fanfiction of Twilight. I can see the resemblance there. All the mysterious-rich-handsome guy telling the girl he's dangerous and that she should stay away but then the girl is too curious and too drawn by this guy so she can't resist him and then they have sex... Haha. Okay, Twilight is not really like that...

The first chapters of the first book was fine. But then Christian showed Ana his Red Room of Pain (complete with BDSM stuff) and then I was kind of turned off by then. I knew from the beginning that this book is  erotica so I braced myself for what I'm going to read. I mean, I have read snippets of erotic pieces from contemporary romance books so I guess I have something to compare this to. But I can't. I can't even put into words how I felt when reading it. Repulsed? Shocked? Err.

Anastasia (the female protagonist), hmmm? We've got another Mary Sue over here.

It's not that I'm preventing you from reading this. Just... see for yourself. Our tastes in reading is different so maybe you'll like it. As for me, this is a piece of crapshit. I am still trying to figure out why this book became a best seller. Too many curious people looking for erotica novels, I think? But it'll be just a waste of money if you think this is a good book. There are better books out there that is worth your time and money. 

“It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.”


― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

And Friends

Ayan, kung nabasa niyo yung mga dating post ko, mapapansin ninyo ang gloominess ng buhay ko noong nag-college na ako. Kasi nami-miss ko ang high school friends ko. Kaya siguro hindi na rin ako nakakapag-blog kasi wala akong makwento. Kasi kapag nag-post ako dito tungkol sa nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon, madalas ay sa PUP na ang setting. Pero siguro tapos na ako sa transition ng kalungkutan ko kaya eto, handa na akong ipakilala sa inyo ang mga bago kong kaibigan. (Medyo luma na rin sila kasi isang taon ko na silang nakakasama). Gusto ko rin kasi na kapag nag-blog ako tapos may nakita kayong pangalan nila, kilala niyo kung sino ang tinutukoy ko.

Magsimula tayo sa mga nakatayo. From left to right 'to ah.

Jelly. Ayan ang babaeng nagmana sa kagandahan at katalinuhan ko. Swear, maganda at matalino talaga siya. Barbero. Kapag may sinasabi siya sa akin, kailangan ko pa talagang isipin kung totoo yung sinasabi niya o hindi. Madalas hindi. Haha. Siya yung tipo ng kaibigan na kapag may lalaki sa paligid, sa kanya agad titingin. Kaya sinisikap ko na hindi tumabi sa kanya. Haha. JOKE LANG! Ang bagal niyan kumilos, grabe. Pati sa pagsasalita, bago pa matapos ang kinukwento niya, nadasal ko na ata ang buong Lord's Prayer.

Yashi. Siya yung babaeng carefree. Happy-go-lucky. Kanina lang nag-midterms kami sa computer, hindi man lang siya nag-aral. Wapakels. Hindi ko alam kung pabaya ba siya o talagang genius lang para hindi na kailangang mag-review.. Taklesa. Madaldal. Lagi akong susubuan ng pagkain niya kahit ayokong kumain. Magugulat ka na lang biglang may pagkain sa bibig mo. 

Mika. Si Mika? Nako, 'wag na 'yan. Haha. Ayan, si Mika. Masarap siyang kausap. Madami kasing alam 'yan. Matakaw. Nakakailang round ng kanin tapos hindi man lang nataba. Nakakaasar. Lagi akong inaasar. Sa lahat ng bagay. Walang patawad eh. Tapos laging hinihiram yung cellphone ko tapos maglalaro kasama ni Liezel. Ang tiis ng tawa niya, minsan ang sakit sa tenga. haha. Parang panay reklamo yung ginawa ko sa description mo, Mika. Okay lang 'yan. Tanggap mo naman 'yan eh.

Maricaya. Etong babaeng 'to ang sobrang hilig sa violet. Violet na panyo. Violet na bag. Violet na nailpolish. Violet na pamaypay. Violet na blouse. Lahat na ata ng violet sa mundo, binili niya. Mababa ang kaligayahan niya, parang bata. Laging nakangiti. Pero may times na parang iritable siya tapos hindi ko mapigilang hindi tumingin sa noo niya kapag nakakunot. Haha.

Rio. Si Rio Zaira Tenecio, mayaman. Sa sobrang yaman ni Rio, ang breakfast, lunch, at dinner niya ay sa SM pa niya binibili. Haha. Tamad magluto kapag nasa dorm siya. O talagang marami lang talagang pera. Siya yung nakakasama ko sa biyahe kapag nauwi siya sa Cavite. Adik sa Wattpad. Lahat na ata ng storiy doon nabasa niya. Ang gwapo ng kuya niyan. Share lang. Siningit ko lang. 

Sa mga nakaupo, left to right uli.

Liezel. Tawag niya sa akin ay "Ina". Hindi ko na ipapaliwanag kung bakit. Ayoko. Haha. Nasanay na lang ako sa tawag dahil lagi niya akong tinatawag na ganoon. Sa kanya ko pinapauwi ang gamit ko kapag hindi na kering iuwi sa amin. Katulad na lang nung gitara ko. Sa kanya na ata 'yon eh. Bago pa magkandabaha sa M. Manila nasa kanila na 'yon. Kapag may gusto akong itanong tapos hindi kaya ng hiya ko, siya yung magtatanong. Mabait na bata 'yan. Tapos kung anong nararamdaman niya, kita mo talaga sa itsura at kinikilos niya.

Trishia. Pwede ba skip na lang 'to? Si Patrishia, kapag tinatawag ko sa buong pangalan nabibitin ako. Adik sa Tumblr. Ang daming fandom na kinabibilangan. Only child na mataray na kinukuha ng other side. Masaya ang buhay nito. Kapag tumatawa siya, walang katapusan. swear, mas malala pa siya sa tama ko. Akala ko, ako yung pinakamalakas na may tama sa buong mundo. Hindi pala. Tapos lagi akong laughtrip sa daddy niya. May pinagmanahan ng tama. Hihi.

Jonna. Next please! Ay! Wala na pala (sa picture). No choice na. Ito ang kanang kamay ni Jelly sa kabarberohan. Prangkang babae. Kaya kapag ikaw nasaktan pa sa sinasabi niya, hindi mo siya kilala ng buo. Lahat ng pwede niya i-insulto sa'yo sasabihin niya na. Lahat ng taong pwede niyang insultuhin, iinsultuhin niya. Feeling niya maganda siya. Haha. Hindi, joke lang. Maganda ka raw, sabi ng nanay ko. Kapag sa personal, madaldal. Kapag sa cellphone mo kausap, ang tahimik. Ayon...

Harriett. Wala siya sa picture pero si Harriett, tahimik na babae pero kapag kinausap mo na siya, ang daldal na niya. Mahilig siyang magbasa ng novels tapos adik na adik sa Phantom of the Opera. Pinagiipunan niya talaga yung ticket para doon. 

Janiene. Wala rin siya sa picture pero kaibigan ko ring matalik si Ja. Kahit hindi ko na siya classmate ngayong second year, kaibigan ko pa rin siya. Tahimik rin na madaldal kapag kinausap mo na. Kapag nagsimula nang masalita si Ja, hindi ka na makakausap. 

Yep, ang dami ko nanamang kaibigan. Addition sila sa circle of friends ko. Sila ang mga kasama ko sa college life ko. Sana, kahit alam kong inevitable iyon dahil naranasan ko rin ito sa high school friends ko, ay hindi kami maghihiwalay. Pero sana katulad ng sa HS firends ko na kahit hiwa-hiwalay na kami, hindi pa rin mawawala yung friendship. 

Kuya

Alam niyo naman siguro ang mataas na hangarin kong magkaroon ng kuya. Kung hindi niyo alam, ngayon alam niyo na. haha. Basta masyado lang siguro akong na-engganyo at nasilaw sa isang imaginary kuya hindi ko napansin na ang dami ko palang kuya na nadito lang naman sa tabi ko.

Marami akong kuya sa mother's side. Sa sobrang dami nila, hindi ko sila mabilang. Pero matatanda na rin sila kasi halos bunso na si nanay. Kaya ganon...  Tsaka hindi ko naman sila masyadong nakikita. Pero kapag nasa Batangas kami, sila madalas ang tropa ko. Apat ang kuya ko sa father's side. Sila yung mga panganay na kuya tapos ako yung panganay na babae sa magpipinsan kaya wala akong ate sa father's side. Sila naman yung madalas kong makita lalo na kapag may gatherings. Syempre sila yung mga kuyang mas malapit sa akin. 

Yung dalawang magkapatid, si Kuya Lean at Kuya Ericko, sila yung madalas na pinupuntahan ko kapag may tanong ako sa mga academic-related thingy. Imba kasi mga utak ng mga 'yan eh. Haha. Lagi akong napunta sa kanila lalo na nung high school at magpapaturo ako sa algebra. Sila ang savior ko. Sila ang dahilan kung bakit ang galing ko sa math. haha. Hindi naman ako nagyaabang na magaling ako sa math. keri lang.

Sina Kuya Marc at Kuya Joy naman ang magkapatid. Noong medyo teenage years nila parang hindi sila masyadong magkasundo. Laging nag-aaway. pero ngayong adult na sila parang keri na. Si Kuya Joy ang lagi kong kausap sa mga technical chu-chu. Madalas naming pag-usapan ang tungkol sa earphones at mga bagong cellphone sa market. Pero madlas din panay kalokohan niya ang pinag-uusapan namin. Siya ang kasama ko kapag nasa ospital si lolo. Si Kuya Marc naman, hindi ko siya masyadong ka-close kasi sa magpipinsan, siya yung pinakamatanda kaya parang medyo hindi na kami close. 23 o 24 na ata siya. Wala nga akong maalalang memory na naging ka-close ko siya maliban lang nung grade 5 (o six ba un?) na kumanta yung banda nila sa isang concert na sponsored ng school, yung opening act ng Hale, tapos sinabi ko sa mama niya na nakita ko siya doon. Hindi pala alam ng mama niya. So pinagalitan siya. Ayon, medyo naasar siguro siya sa akin. Close na kami noon.

Ang post na ito ay para talaga sa kanya. Kasi nagkaroon kami ng chance para magkaroon ng "bonding time." Birthday celebration ng kapatid ko. Nag-aaral kasi ako noon, tapos pumasok siya sa kwarto ko kasi natutulog yung anak niya sa kabilang kwarto kaya hindi na siya pumasok. Ayon, tumambay siya sa kwarto ko. Tapos nag-comment siya sa pagiging studious ko. Masama daw na laging aral ng aral (kung alam mo lang, kuya). Ang tingin niya kasi sa aming magpipinsan, lahat kami studious tapos silang dalawa ng kapatd niya yung black sheep ng pamilya. Haha. Ayon tapos kinuwento niya yung college misadventures niya (sa puntong itto, mas naaliw na ako sa pagkukwento niya kesa sa pag-aaral ko). Yung classmate niya nung college na hanggang ngayon college pa din, yung mga dota at cabal moments nila, ganon. Tapos kinuwento niya rin yung pagpupulis niya... Yung benefits ng pagiging isang family guy sa profession niya, basta marami pa.

Noong medyo matagal na kaming nag-uusap, pumasok si Ate Shie, yung asaw niya sa kwarto ko. Ibili niya raw muna si Iñigo ng lugaw kasi ayaw daw kumain. Tapos parang tinatamad pa siya. Typical guy... Haha. Ayon, tapos nagsalita siya na medyo pabiro dahil nandoon yung asawa niya. Natuwa nga ako doon sa sinabi niya:

"Ikaw, kapag maghahanap ka ng boyfriend, huwag kang maghahanap ng hindi ka sasaktan. Kasi impossible iyon. Ang hanapin mo, yung kaya kang tiisin... tsaka yung maraming (sign ng pera)"

Kahit na pabiro nga niyang sinabi, may sense naman yung mga salita niya.

Ayon, pagkaalis niya sa kwarto ko, tinamad na akong mag-aral. Nag-contemplate lang ako sa mga sinabi niya. Tsaka na-realize ko na hindi ko naman talaga kailangang maghangad pa ng sarili kong kuya. Kasi marami naman pala akong ganoon. Hindi ko man sila purong kadugo, half lang, they are my older brothers just the same. At maswerte ako dahil meron akong MGA KUYA. 

Wattpad

Hindi ako professional na writer. Pero hindi ko lang talaga maiwasang matuwa sa mga naging feedback ng mga naging readers ko sa Limerence. 

Noong una, katuwaan lang ang pagsusulat ko dito. Parang inintroduce lang sa akin ng mga classmates ko ang Wattpad tapos in-encourage nila ako na magsulat ng story dito. Hindi pa nga yung story line ng Limerence ang gagawin ko. Yung story na gagawin ko dapat yung pinapagawa pa ni Jelly na may love square ba iyon? Haha. Hindi ko na ie-elaborate yung kwento na iyon. 

Ayon, kaya ko lang ginawa yung post na ito ay dahil sa natuwa nga ako. Haha. Noong summer ko pa natapos ang story. Hindi man sila ang lahat na nakapagbasa, may silent readers din, gusto kong magpasalamat sa kanilang lahat. Kasi dahil sa kanila na-boost yung confidence ko na ipagpatuloy ko ang sinuslat ko. Dahil sa kagustuhan nilang ituloy ko ang mga chapters, tinutuloy ko na. May mga ilang ka-bangagan akong sinusulat, naki-ride naman sila. Masaya ako dahil naibahagi ko sa kanila ang kabangagan ko. Haha.

At syempre, hindi ako titigil sa pagsusulat. Hangga't may naiisip ako, ipagpapatuloy ko.

Sa totoo lang, kaya lang rin ako matagal na nag-absent sa Blogger ay dahil sa Wattpad. Haha. Yung "writing expertise" ko ay ibinuhos ko sa fiction at hindi sa kadaldalan ko sa buhay ko. 

Shinare ko lang yung Wattpad. Haha. Alam kong sikat na sikat naman ang Wattpad ngayon. Ewan ko lang yung mga nagba-Blogger aware sa Wattpad. Haha. Ano ba? Wala atang sense ang post na 'to. Bahala na si Thor. Medyo mapurol ang blogging skills ko. Matagal na kong hindi nagba-blog. paulit-ulit?! Haha. O siya, hanggang sa susunod na post.